whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
