You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
