We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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