he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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