dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize