I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
