Yo dont text me then not text me
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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