her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I have already put on my inside pants.
Drunk is not a location!
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
