you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
