I seem to have left my pride at pride
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
