are you still at the devil's house?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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