3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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