it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I want to fling myself into the sun
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
