um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize