No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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