Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just had sex on a roof
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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