the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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