It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Reggie can tackle my bush.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I did not marry a roomba.
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