thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
