Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
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