help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
