pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
