Grow some girl-balls and come out already
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
