he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
did you just send me my own nude
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize