I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
he laminated a picture of his dick.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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