Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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