At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
organizing the empties. That sober.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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