He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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