Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
