Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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