found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
