Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
