Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize