Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Let's paint friendship bongs
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
