In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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