HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Houston, we have a squirter
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize