Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
