dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
