I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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