wat bout pragnant strippers??
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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