i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
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