And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
