Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
