Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
