just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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