You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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