Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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