Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
