She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
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