I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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