but the lizard people decide everything anyway
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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