Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
