had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
