Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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