you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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