im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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