I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
