4 words: hood of his car
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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