I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
