I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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