i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
