I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
