The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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