is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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