Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
