Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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