Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
