i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Randomize
