If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
