The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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