So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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