I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize