so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
