Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
