Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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