HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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