She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
MIDGETS
????
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
