Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
