I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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